Anyone who doesn’t watch Dexter is a chump.
It’s very well written, clever, completely wrong in so many ways and although it’s one of the few shows I do actually pay attention to, IN MY HEAD IT SOUNDS LIKE THIS.
Dexter – “I’m sexy. You know this. I know this. Look at the way I pull my t-shirt over my head in the opening sequence. There’s a bad man in town and I’m going to kill him. You’ll forgive me because of my handsome face. Sometimes I’m funny. I have a son! This makes me even more endearing, even my own sister is considering shagging me. WHAT’S THAT RED STUFF DEXTER?? It’s blood.”
Debs – “FUCKINGBASTARDWANKERSHIT. No one takes me seriously as the boss, not even you. I AM SO FUCKING THIN. SWEARING IS FUN. I was married to Dexter in real life. FUCK YOU.”
Harry – “Dexter listen to me. I’m your dead father/figment of your imagination/Samatha’s boyfriend from Sex and the City. I’m serious all the time. Yes I did show my penis briefly on TV. Oh forget it.”
Batista – “I’m strangely attractive and no one knows why. I want to protect everyone who ever lived, except that boy who’s touching my sister in a dirty way. I AM THE REAL BOSS OF THE POLICE. Hold me.”
Quinn – SEX. ALL THE SEX. AND MOST OF THE BOOBS. What’s my job? IS THAT A GUN?? WHO’S BRA IS THIS? ”
So there you have it.
Amazing. Just amazing.