Facebook

Published January 24, 2012 by joannabolouri

My love for Facebook has slowly turned to mild annoyance over the past few months but despite having left twice, I still keep coming back because I’m weak and a terrible human being.

I tend to keep to Facebook for people I actually know, went to school with or have at least been drunk with on more than one occasion. I don’t spend that much time on here, but when I do it goes something like this.

*Check best mate’s wall for comfort*

*Plays Bejeweled until fingers cramp*

“HOW THE FUCK DO I DISABLE THAT STUPID STREAMING SIDEBAR?*

“Stop posting pictures of your average children, I couldn’t care less what they’re doing.”

“YAY! My hot friend is single again! *Messages*”

*Hot friend ignores message of obvious fake sympathy.*

*Changes profile picture to one of a Koala*

*Growls menacingly at sidebar again*

*Message best mate to complain about sidebar and talk about boys*

*STOP FUCKING POKING ME!”

*Googles how to remove poking and sidebars*

*Count up number of friends I’ve slept with and feels disappointed at low number*

*Deny friend request from someone I barely remember from Primary School*

*Look up old boyfriends*

*Look up people I hate and feel happy I’m not them*

*Start serious debate and then get bored leaving everyone else to fight it out while I read Hecklerspray and Onion articles*

*Untag picture of me looking like a mental patient*

*Accept invites to events I will never go to*

*Wonders what everyone on Twitter is doing*

*Blocks everyone and leaves*

Verdict – 3/5 

Meh.

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