The Shimmy Club’s actual statement. Probably.

Published May 20, 2013 by joannabolouri

For those who haven’t read the original statement you can here – https://www.facebook.com/ShimmyClubGlasgow

STATEMENT

Here at The Shimmy Club, we thought spying on women through two-way mirrors while they were in the bathroom was a really fun idea.  Chicks love that kinda thing and the lads get to make misogynistic comments without hurting their feelings.  And they pay for this. WHAT’S NOT TO LOVE??

We hoped it would be a talking point, y’know, like a really seedy centrepiece at a pervert’s dinner party but what we didn’t bank on were people who weren’t pissed, noticing what we were up to. Bastards.

They even went so far as to complain all over our Facebook page.

And on Twitter.

And in the press.

And on blogs.

But we’re just misunderstood. The monsters who have complained are probably too ugly to get in to our club anyway but we thought we’d appease them because on a good guy/wank scale, we’re definitely the good guys.  If Mario and Luigi ran a really awesome nightclub, that’d be us.

If you’d been attractive enough to get in then you’d have seen the area and you’d have realised how fucking genius it is. You’d be like, ‘Is it a mirror? Can they see us? Is this even legal?’ and then you’d stop whining on our Facebook page because our social media guy is getting bored censoring all of the negativity. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

Anyhoo, it’s really interesting that other bars have this amazing award worthy feature and no one has complained which indeed proves that you are all making a mountain out of a sneaky as fuck two-way mirror molehill.  So to shut you up, we’ve kindly put some signs up ensuring that women who use the mirror in future will know that there may be a dirty great rat-bag staring back and they’ll be fine with this. For realz.

Regardless of the fact our Facebook page lost around 2k likes in one evening, our customers are totally happy with this but if you’re not, tell us and we’ll probably delete your comments again if we feel like it. Maybe block you. MAYBE BLOCK YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY.  Dunno.
In closing, we haven’t said sorry for our actions because we’re not. But we do understand that angry punters will boycott our venues and talk shit about us in better clubs. SO WAIT! LET’S BE FRIENDS and end on a lighter note shall we?

God help us when they find out that we have buried vibrators into sections of the dancefloor.

LOLZ!! BANTER!!!!

Better now? Good. Shh.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: