My Day on a Plate by Joanna Bolouri – Author of something and ambassador for shouting.
8am – Tea made from bag and boiled alive tap water. Milk from consenting cow.
9am. Fiddly, unimpressive pod coffee and firey bread. Machine churned butter. Honey stolen from hardworking bees. Banana that Alicia Duvall didn’t get her hands on first.
10am. MORE FUCKING COFFEE. Instant. Biscuits made in massive factory – all of them.
12.30pm – Something carby like an entire loaf. Thinly sliced dead animal and pitiful salad, prewashed. Non orgasmic yoghurt.
5pm – Kitten sniffed meat item from fridge, uncultured, lazy and probably bigoted vegetables. Rogue crumb from not washing lunch plate properly. Kid’s leftovers. Green tea with milk to ruin any life saving properties.
8pm – More tea. Cake. More cake. More tea. Cake.
10pm- crisps. Multipack. Diet coke.